Autumn

Autumn is upon on us here in Pennsylvania. The temperatures have turned cooler, the leaves are changing color and floating to the ground. This is my favorite time of year, with winter a close second.

I’ve been on the list almost two months now and I actually feel worse than I did in August. It’s been a bit of a bumpy ride. I have been trying to fight off a head cold for about two weeks or so and at the same time have had fluid over load in my lungs. I have been lucky though, the fluid was only a pound or two and we were able to control it with increased oral lasix. No iv or hospital visit necessary. What a blessing that was.

I seem to be losing my independance a little at a time, acceptance has been difficult. We hired a housekeeper to come in a couple of times a month. I know, most people would think that is great. however, when you are a homemaker, that is your job. When you can no longer do your job, those around you pick up the slack. I know my husband is happy to do so, but he has enough to do around here.

I am back in bed today. Trying to fight this head cold, trying to recharge by batteries. #transplantwaitlist #organdonation

Almost 90 Days

I have been on the wait list almost 90 days now, still status 2, still no call. I don’t expect the call yet. But days like the last few, make me pray a little more for that call to come in. I am currently waiting for my transplant cardiologist’s office to call. I am struggling. I am short of breath standing up, getting dressed, just about anything that doesn’t involve just sitting here. The symptoms started while I was shopping a couple days ago and haven’t let up. My first thought was what is called “over do hangover”. That is when you do to much and it takes your body a few days to recover. I am not so sure that is it, only because this head cold virus thing seems to still be here two months later.

It is difficult to accept that my body is slowly dying. I sit here with  a nasal canula in my nose struggling for more air, fatigued to the point of exhaustion thinking of all the things I wish I could do, hoping for the chance to do them again and wondering if I ever will. Then I think of things I can do. So now, I have turned my focus to my writing. I started a novel awhile back, fact is, I have started several over the years. I think it is about time I finish one.

That really is all I have. I am exhausted. I will post when I have news and more energy. Thank you all for your support and your prayers.