My rebirth. That is exactly what it was too. If you’ve been following my blog, you know I was born in the early seventies as a blue baby with a heart defect called Transposition of the Great Arteries (TGA). A few months shy of my third birthday, I underwent TGA Senning repair at The Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.
TGA is a very complex condition requiring multiple procedures and surgeries if the infant is to survive. See, my blue blood that enters the heart was going straight back into my body instead of through my lungs. And blood coming from my lungs went around and right back to the lungs instead of out to the body. There are many types of congenital heart defects making it the most common birth defect and the deadliest. US statistics show that approximately 40,000 babies a year, 1 in every 100 are born with a CHD. And for no reason other than God’s plan, I was chosen as one of them.
Today is a celebration of that miraculous day and a time of reflection. As I contemplate the journey I took to get here, one thing stands out above all others. When the hell did I join the old person’s club? Seriously folks. When? Was it when I first started taking cardiac meds? Because that was childhood. When was it that I started having more in common with the elderly than my peers? And, when quite frankly, did I become ok with it? We all will be diagnosed with old age at some point. @michaelkinsley is correct when he states that some of us get the symptoms prematurely, I am proof of that!
I take ten different medications daily then an additional three more daily to counteract the poison from the first ones. With a whopping grand total of 31 actual pills daily. This doesn’t include any as needed pills. The side effects are awful, I shake like a Parkinsonian just brushing my teeth and putting on makeup. But, the meds keep me alive while leaching their venom so I continue taking them…and will for life, just different ones and hopefully in a lesser quantity. I have a lovely clear leash that attaches to a bottle, the collar of which rests annoyingly in my nostrils. I sleep reclined, enjoy napping and am usually constipated. Not everything is bad though.
I have found myself. I have learned to be still, to practice mindfulness, to listen to nature more and the tv less, to forgive, and to be grateful. Regrets? Sure, I’ve had them. I faced them head on like a boxer in a ring. Dealt with them, put them in their place and moved on. I have met a lot of people on my journey. Some are still in my life and others are not. I learned from them all and am appreciative for the lessons. Acceptance of my heart disease and future transplant has been easy. Losing my independence, not so much. Some people say I should fight it. Fight what? I already have it. I was born with it. I will die with it. Heart transplant won’t cure it, it will only change it. “You ask me if I have scars? yes sir, I have my scars.” William H. Bonney was correct. We all have scars. I am proud of mine. They represent battles won.
Death is my old adversary. It is inevitable. A part of life. I feel as though I have entered my final chapter, and Death has given me another test with extra credit. I am gearing up for battle. I have been in many skirmishes over the years; spiritually, physically and mentally, but the biggest is yet to come. I am prepared. I will go into this battle with the most powerful weapons I have; dignity, courage, strength, positivity, mindfulness, hope, faith, and for me the most important of all love. And in 40 years, I will celebrate again!